top of page

Control Ruins Your Goals and Productivity...

There are levels to developing a life lived with purpose and ease. The first is basic. It requires finding a way of looking at daily habits as easy and achievable. This is vital

To get anywhere with goals, they need to be viewed as eminently DOABLE. From here, consistency becomes possible. No micromanagement is required. No planning. No struggling. Just easy, achievable, consistent, daily steps in the right direction.

To get this level sorted, look at the areas of your life you want to see growth in. Your fitness, your passion, your relationships etc. Determine what you can do in each area EVERY DAY that will slowly and consistently lead to growth. But make sure it is the easy. It should feel insanely easy to be accomplish each day. You should feel slightly uncomfortable at how easy the steps seem – they should seem too easy!

Now that you have identified these easy steps, your job is complete! You have made them seem as enticing as possible. Now, you simply need to ask for direction. You don’t rely on ‘to do’ lists. There is nothing that ‘has to’ be done. You will be drawn to these things now. But to be drawn to them, you need to go beyond yourself. You need intuition. You need the perspective of your higher mind.

Where should you begin? What should you do first? These are questions that must be answered with your Higher Mind. You need to consult this higher part of yourself.

There is an important reason for this. This reason is: the negative emotions that come up and that have plagued you your entire life. No matter how easy you have made your steps appear, negative emotion will block you from taking them.

Typically, we fight against our negative emotions. We want to get rid of them by force. We think that we need to ‘push through’. We believe that if we take our action steps consistently by forcing through the negative emotions, the emotions will be less likely to resurface. This is a major error.

Negative emotions need to be met with one thing – compassion. Force is the last thing that will work. Force only makes them more aggravated.

So, when negative emotions come up, slow down. Never force through them. Never act to ‘get rid’ of them. Action will come – it’s easy. You have framed your action steps as achievable and there will be plenty of time to address them. By making them easy for yourself, you are actually making time for yourself to process the negative feelings that come up. And they will come up. Negative emotions will be inevitable until they are fully welcomed as a part of your life. The paradox is that once they are, they become so easy to live with.

Remember that your only job is to frame your action steps as achievable and easy. Then, you release them. You are asking for guidance in how and when to address them. Negative emotions may actually be useful in this process. The negative emotion may be telling you that there is something else that needs your attention – something unrelated to your goals.

When we try to control our decisions regarding action steps, we will always start to feel negative emotion. This is because we do not possess the knowledge required to co-ordinate our lives with complete grace. Your Higher Mind does possess such knowledge and would share it with you but for the asking.

Imagine that you have to go somewhere, and your action steps have not been taken. If you are controlling your action steps, you’ll be thinking that you need to do X,Y, and Z within a short period of time. This causes anxiety. The anxiety becomes so overwhelming that you fail to take any action steps at all.

Or another scenario might play out. You feel rushed for time to complete your action steps, so you force yourself into the action you think is necessary (forgetting that ease and joy are the point). An hour later, you find yourself rushed to get ready to leave the house. You find yourself rushing to be at your destination. You find yourself late and stressed. Your Higher mind would have reminded you to maybe do one of your action steps, relax for a while, get ready to leave in plenty of time, and maybe address the other steps later. Over time, this balanced approach is sustainable and successful.

This entire process requires compassion, patience, and humility. If we can realize that we do not have all the answers, we will be less likely to be controlling. It’s not that we resign as managers of our lives entirely. It’s just that we bring on board a co-manager. This is someone that we need to consult with. And you will be hiring a genius by the way. Your Higher Mind is such a co-manager. And they work for free!

Get Access to Courses and Upcoming Content

Hi there. Hope you've found something of help here on the site. If you're curious about any of my private content, it's easy to access.

​

I've put together some courses that might help you out. More are on the way too.

​

They're deep dives into issues I've researched extensively. Basically, I made them as support materials for the clients I work with in Therapy. Feedback has been great so far.

​

So, if you'd like to know more, just click below and check out what's on offer.

bottom of page